Final Destination - The Twist.

Final Destination: The Twist of it all.

By Awhina Kawiti.

Disclaimer: I know it’s quite long but I had so much to write about. ! Enjoy.

Awaiting at Vesbar for her already late boyfriend, Kayla chats among her posse on the topic of tonights Smashproof concert. Happy and excited they discuss.

Kayla: "Okay girls, what are we wearing tonight?"

Shyanne and Kiyana's faces light up.

Shyanne thinking about the question she says: "Hmm, you know the leopard dress that my mum bought me last week? "

Kayla and Kiyana looking at her in curiosity: "Yeah?" they said.

Shyanne: "Well, do you think it'll go well with my blue heels?"

Kayla and Kiyana quickly answering: "Yes, of course."

Shyanne grinning at the girls. "Thanks, I so can not wait for tonight."

Kiyana: “The band beat the New Zealand record for the longest standing number 1 single in New Zealand history, it's going to be off the hook tonight". Grinning with ecstatic.

In comes Kyle, walking with his bag drooped over his shoulder and looking really drowsy.

Kayla: "Hey hun, finally you're here. Could you have taken any longer?"

Kyle taking Kayla by her waist: "Sorry babe, three hour lecture".

Kayla: "Better late than never". Turning to Shyanne and Kiyana she says:

"Well girls we have to go now, we'll meet you at Vesbar tonight around six. Wanna get in early right?"

Kiyana: "That's a plan, see you later". And gets up to hug and kiss Kayla on the cheek.

Shyanne: "See you later, oh and Kyle bring Lukey boy for me won't ya?" Giggling and smerking away.

Kyle glaring at Shyanne with one eyebrow raised "umm...okay I'll try".

Shyanne giggles away.

Kayla and Kyle tremble off into the distance. Kayla looks over at Kyle and notices that he is pale then usual and has been quiet and down. Wandering if he’s still down about his mum and dads recent divorce she asks him:

Kayla: "Babe, are you all right? You've been quiet since you came back from your lecture today?"

Kyle: "I've been feeling quirky about..."

Kayla: “About What?”

Kyle’s voice tone gets stronger and eyes gleaming in to Kayla’s. “This whole week I haven’t had one good nights sleep, my head bangs and I get the shivers. I don’t know but something came to me in my dream and keeps haunting my dreams.

Kayla: “A person? A ghost?”

Kyle: “No babe, it was more of an Ora that just kept telling me that some thing bad is going to happened.

Kayla: “What?” Looking confused.

Kyle raising his voice, eyes broaden. “You don’t see that I have been quiet and keeping to my self because of them.

Kayla in confusion: “Who’s them? You are loosing me.”

Kyle whispering to her, with still a strong toned voice: “Ora’s. They’ve come to me at night, awoken me from my dreams. I can feel them, they’re trying to tell me some thing.

Kayla: “ Kyle! You’re freaking me out”.

Kyle: “Do you realise what’s happening? When the premonition happened to the last guy Nick O’Bannon, he wasn’t able to save all of the people left that were suppose to die in the explosion.

Kayla: “Look, this is crazy.”

Kyle pulls Kayla and looks her sternly in the eye. “Babe, be careful. I’m not saying this because I’m crazy, I’m saying so you’re aware of harms way.”

Kayla: “There is nothing to be scared of Baby, I have to go home now.” Kayla kisses Kyle on the fore head and bolts off too her house, Kyle walks home with something on his mind.

Quarter to six. Shyanne and Kiyana are glamming themselves up. Wandering what Kayla’s doing they decide to give her a call.

“Ring, ring”, goes the phone.

“Hello?” Kayla say's.

Shyanne: “Hey girl! We’re ready to go. Are you?”

Kayla: “Yeah but it’s just that Kyle doesn't want to go”.

Shyanne: “Tell him you’ll be safe with us, just the girl’s night out tonight”.

Thinking about what Kyle said earlier on Kayla gets a quirky feeling. She thinks again and realises that he has been under a lot of stress lately and was probably still down about his parents divorce.

Kayla: “I’ll come now. Meet outside concert in twenty minutes”.

Kyle and his friend Luke decide to show up to the concert, knowing very well Kayla was going to go, he zooms over in his dads work truck speeding. Kyle excelling his speed he knows very well what is expected of this concert.

Luke not knowing of what is going on can see that Kyle's face is pale, he looks as if he had seen a ghost.

Luke: "Are you okay man? Slow down man."

No reply.

Gripping on his seatbelt so tightly, Luke is in total shock. Kyle reaches the gates of the concert parks out side the entrance doors. He flee's out the car door to where he comes across a heap load of people all lined up and ready for Smashproof to perform.

He hallucinates, breathing slow. He falls back and passes out into emptiness. Yet again, he has a vision of the ora.

Symbols of his girlfriend Kayla sitting next to him and glaring at him, his bestfriend, Luke standing and looking down and symbols of his mother looking like she was in tears.

Kyle begins to open his eyes. Slowly he studies the atmosphere surrounding him.

"Hunny, you're awake!" say's a soft voice coming from the right side of him. It's Kayla. Her bright, blue eyes are glaring at me with a look of relief on her face.

"Breathing again are we?" asks a deep voice right before Kyle.

"Luke?" Kyle say's.

"Oh, son you're awake now. They should have taken better care of you". Say’s Kyle’s mother.

"Who?" Kyle asks her in utter confusion.

"The people here at the Mental Institute, they injected the wrong medicine into you yesterday".

FAN FICTION - FINAL

Fan Fiction Topic: Pulp Fiction with elements from The Condemned movie

Setting: Story starts when Vincent Vega takes a much needed trip to Amsterdam.

Disclaimer: The ending is cheesy, I know. I couldn't figure out a way to cut it off 'cause it was getting a bit long. Lol

I’ll never leave you. It's been you. It'll always be you.

Clouds of smoke fill the coffee shop so much so, that hardly anyone is visible anymore. Vincent Vega gets up from his booth and unsteadily makes his way to the doorway. There, he opens the door and the fresh, untainted air fills his lungs. In an instant, his eyes snap open. The words of his forbidden love still ringing in his ears.

“My God, what the hell is in that shit man?” Vincent asks Jules.

Jules Winnfield. The smooth, jheri-curled black man. Almost a stereo-type of a ‘70’s African American.

Vincent and Jules have been partners since they entered the industry. It had been 6 years since their last holiday and they were making sure to make every moment count. Even if that did mean endless nights baked out their brains, isn’t that what Amsterdam is for?

“I don’t know man, but this shit is freakin’ me out,” said Jules. “Let’s go get summin’ to eat, I’m starved.”

“Yeah, me too. Let’s go here,” Vince pointed out a huge, rustic looking restaurant. Bordewijk’s. “I want steak.”

“Hey, did I mention, you know in Franc-“

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Damn, I don’t know how many times you need to tell that story, Vega.” Jules interrupted.

“Oh. Wai- What?” Vega looked at Jules confused.

“Man, forget that. Let’s eat.”

They sit at a near-by window seat. Looking around they noticed a number of people that didn’t quite seem to fit in with rustic atmosphere. Vince noticed, but decided he was just being paranoid.

“So, what happened between you and Mia?” Jules asked.

Mia Wallace. Wife of the mob king pin Marcellus Wallace. A man you definitely do not want to cross. Marcellus, who threw a man from a fourth-floor balcony for giving his wife a foot massage. The man whose wife he was screwing.

“I don’t know. She says she’s gonna leave him, that she’d do anything for me, but we’ll see,” he laughed half-heartedly. He would never tell Jules how much he actually cared for her.

“That’s some dangerous fuckin’ fire you’re messing ‘round with. Ain’t no way that can end well, you know that right? She’ll never leave Marcellus for you.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever man. Now shut up and let’s order.”

The figures ascended towards Vince and Jules.

“Damn, I’m hungry. What you gon’ get? I’m feelin’ a nice T-bone steak and maybe a side o— Oh shit.”

“Excuse me, are you—“

The two professional assassins get up so fast the waiter walking over doesn’t have time to notice, before they start exchanging gunfire with the suited men. They manage to flip a table for cover before the shooting subsides for a while.

“What the fuck is going on?! Who the fuck are those guys?! ” Vega screams.

“Vince Vega?” A deep, intimidating voice calls out from beyond the table guard.

“Huh? Who are they? Did you recognise any of ‘em, Jay?” Vega whispers to his partner.

“Tall, afro looking guy. Think he works for Joy,” he responded.

“Joy… Wait, Rudy’s Joy? Well, why the fuck is he shooting as us then?”

“How would I know? They’re calling you’re name aren’t they? Just see what they want.”

“Yeah, ‘cause I’m really keen to get my head blown off.” He snapped back.

“Whaddya want?” he called out across the room.

All of a sudden, darkness fell upon the whole room.

* * *

Vincent Vega awoke to the clickety-clack of heels pacing up and down on the hard, concrete surface.

Where the fuck am I? He wondered, as he looked around at the dully lit room. Suddenly remembering the incident at Bordewijk’s he started to panic slightly. The room was large, covered in dust and looked as if it hadn’t been cleaned in years. Squinting around the room, Vega decided to look for his partner.

“Jay… Jay? You in here, man?” he whispered to no response. Vega got up off the cold, concrete floor and quickly fell again as a piercing pain entered his right foot. What the hell? Not realising his left bare foot was sporting an open gash.

“Arrgghhh!” he screamed as the realisation as well as the pain sunk in.

In the darkness of the room a voice called out.

“Hey, keep your fucking voice down.”

“Wait. What? Who’s there? Where the fuck am I?” he yelled back.

“I said, keep your voice down, dammit,” the voice responded as he moved closer. Under the dim lights a face appeared. One he would surely recognise.

“Butch?” he asked. “Butch Coolidge? Holy shit man, what the hell are you doing here?”

Butch’s face became clearer, which wasn’t a good thing. It looked as if his left eye had been gauged out and blood stained his cheeks. His face was covered in badly healed wounds. Not quite the picture he once was as the handsome boxing champion.

Just then, the clickety-clack of heels started to get closer. And the big dungeon-like door swung open.

A tall, slender woman stood in the doorway, with the light shining in behind her making it hard to see her face. Two large men walked in from behind.

“Vega, you’re up.” Her voice sounded cold and sent a shiver down his spine. Something not easily done.

The two men grabbed him by the arms and dragged him out of the room. Vince, being curious didn’t put up a fight.

As they walked along, Vince noticed other rooms, albeit concealed ones while he pondered how many others were in the same predicament as he. They suddenly came to a stop while the woman unlocked a maze of security devices.

What the hell is this place?

The woman retreated back as the door opened and with one shove Vega was pushed out.

“Take this, you’ll need it.” The woman smirked as she spoke in the same chilling tone and threw him a semi-automatic hand gun.

Vega looked out and all he saw was green. Huge, thick trees covering every square inch he could see.

“LET THE GAMES BEGIN!” shrieked a voice over intercom.

Game? What game? He contemplated, but only for a fraction of a second as a bullet narrowly missed his ear. Or so he thought. Vega’s ear started to burn and he quickly felt it to make sure it was intact. Luckily, the bullet had only grazed it.

Without thinking, he pointed his gun in the direction where the bullet came from and ran to find some sort of protection. He hid behind one of the many tree trunks hoping he could find some clue as to what the hell he was doing.

“Don’t move, motherfucker.” A voice from behind declared.

Vince put his hands up in surrender and dropped the gun in his left hand.

“Turn around. Slowly.” As he turned his pulse raced faster and faster.

“Jules!”

“Vega?!”

“What the fuckin’ hell is going on here?” Vega questioned.

“I don’t know man, I woke up and they shoved me out here with this piece-of-shit gun. But I guess it’s better than nothin’.” He replied. “Come on, we gotta get movin’ before someone else comes.”

“Someone else? How many people are in this godforsaken forest?”

“I don’t know, but they all seem to be out for the kill. I’ve already taken out three but don’t know how many more there are.”

Suddenly, “WINNFIELD. VEGA. JANSEN. You are the last remaining players. Remember, this is a fight to the DEATH and only one man can leave this forest ALIVE.” The intercom cackled.

No way, no way in hell this is happening right now. Vince and Jules looked at each other in disbelief. They both didn’t want it to happen, but with the years of experience they had, they knew there was only one way out. Even if they weren’t sure where out meant.

Footsteps over breaking twigs became louder and closer. Vega grabbed his gun and flew to the right of Jules and fired. A yelp came out from the woods and he knew he had hit his target. They ran up to see a man in tattered clothing, scarred almost like Butch.

“This must be Jansen. This means…” Vega turned around to face the barrel of the “piece-of-shit gun” held by his own partner.

“I’m sorry man, but this is just how it’s gonna go down. I ain’t dying for no-one.”

BANG.

A gunshot fired. Vince closed his eyes and braced himself for the inevitable death that was coming.

Wow, this ain’t so bad. His thoughts of his own death flooded in.

“Baby? “ Mia?

Just then he opened his eyes and saw not the face of God. But for Vega, it was close enough.

“Baby, get up! We gotta get movin’,”

“Mia? MIA! What are you doing here?!”

“No time, let’s go before they get to us.”

He looked around and saw Jules, lying stiff with a bullet hole in the middle of his forehead. At that moment the blades of a helicopter got louder. Within seconds a troop of men, much like the ones who escorted him out, came rushing through the thick forestry. Vince and Mia quickly climbed aboard with only seconds to spare as the men started shooting.

“Man, what a vacation, huh?” Vega chuckled. “Why'd you come here? Marcellus would flip if he knew”

“I told you, didn’t I?” Mia answered.

The words still ringing in his ears as clearly as the day she spoke them.

* * *

“Ma’am, what should we do about the escapee?” One of the henchmen asked.

“Don’t worry. He’ll be back.” She retorted in the unchanged cold tone.

Dom review fanfic

When the Delinquents sigh - based on anime series Cromartie High School

This fanfic follows a few of the main characters studying at another's home. The author has done well in this fanfic, has accurately kept relationships between main characters and followed a storyline that could closely parallel that of the original. What's interesting is that, the author seemed to give himself a 'handicap' while writing the fanfic. Having a friend suggest 3 words to be included in the storyline. Even if it didn't entirely fit they were integrated very well. Perhaps a little more development in story would serve well but overall good effort.


Invulnerable - based on manga/anime series Dragon Ball Z

The fanfic is based in the DBZ world but adds a new element, a nuclear attack. It follows few of the main characters at the instant before and during the first nuclear strike. Overall not much happened in this 1st chapter but the in depth description of the events hold your attention well. Characters relationships and reactions are typical of that of the series and adds more to the validity of the fanfic. I would much like to read any follow up chapters as, so far, the story has potential to be very interesting. Though the problem is with the length but further chapters are discussed in the authors notes.

the rise of skynet - based on Terminator movie

An alternative story on how skynet became and rose to dominate humanity. Honestly, i didn't understand fully the development of the plot. It seemed to be poorly thought out and, even more so executed. Kept me entertained with poor grammar, spelling, and punctuation but other than that the story had next to no connection to the Terminator series. Perhaps if the author explained the relevance of assassinating JFK or as through what method skynet was able to become the president other than "because ir make things bettar". With a bit more effort the story could have been believable 'ish' but as is, not so much.

300: Alternative Ending - based on movie 300

A story setting up an alternate ending to the film. Tells of the Spartan army as they rally themselves to support the king who s already at "Hells gates". Much to my surprise the author well researched names and aspects of the Spartans. Showing a base knowledge of the background ideas and themes add much to the authenticity of the fanfic. Showing, not just the action, but touching on reasons for them being disallowed and predicting the reaction by parties involved showed much thought into the plot. I may not fully agree with the 'happy ending' this is setting up but still a very good example of a fan fiction.

Fanfic Reviews.

Hey guys. I've only completed seven reviews. Will hopefully get the remaining three up soon. I've chosen to review some of my favourite films/books fanfics. The genres vary, though will hopefully tie in with my own fanfic in the end.

‘Less than Zero’ – Bret Easton Ellis

This fanfic adapted from Bret Easton Ellis’ novel of the same title follows Clay, the antagonist, through the high-life of Los Angeles privileged though desensitized, and disaffected youth. The writer has used the same monotonous and mostly short dialogue that Ellis has used in the novel, to convey a sense of emptiness and listlessness the characters feel. I like how the writer has used the investigatory and simple style of dialogue and narrative that Ellis uses which contradicts the underlying emotions of the characters. Personally I would have veered away from writing about drugs and prostitution, and perhaps would have reduced the dialogue and instead written a narrative or a ‘stream of consciousness’ from Clay’s point of view, still maintaining the satire and non-linear style which is the base of Ellis’ writing.

‘Disney Royale’

A cross-over between Disney and Battle Royale (Japanese horror comic/movie/novel), again touches on the downward spiral of youth. I think the idea of creating children’s stories into gory, R rated stories is great. They are two extreme opposites, and in a way so inappropriate. This is what attracts me, because it is so senselessly graphic, it makes you feel uncomfortable as you read it. It is the kind of storyline that makes you re-think the movies you watched as a child, it divides and teaches you rites of passage; how disaffected and desensitized you become as you grow. The story flows very well, however I would have written it in a different setting with more supernaturalism and fantasy elements involved.


‘After The Ball’ – The Masque of the Red Death, Edgar Allan Poe

A great fanfic, I felt like I was reading the actual writings of Poe. This fanfic concludes the Masque of the Red Death in a way which captures the exact moral of the original short story written by Poe. I am impressed that the writer used the same, delicate and old English language that Poe used in the 1800’s when this was written. Also impressive is the twist of this adaptation, where it introduces religious and spiritual beings, reading that God was not playing the role of protector of humanity and enemy of Death, but combining them as one. I could say there would be nothing I would change about this story.


‘I waited’ – The Shining, Stephen King

‘I Waited’ is a poem based on the infamous woman in the bathtub from Stephen King’s ‘The Shining’. She is known to have committed suicide in room 217 of the Overlook Hotel, where The Shining is set. This poem is from her perspective. It traces with words the feel she gives you when reading the book. It grasps the eerie silence of a bathroom and what could be a hallucination or real figure of a decomposing woman in a bathtub. The poem is her thoughts after death, because she never really died, she lived on in that bathroom in that hotel, where she was soon to seduce a guest and drive him mad. I admire how the poem is so beautifully and romantically written and constructed, though the content is in-fact a gruesome description of her symptoms of death and yearning, yearning perhaps after what she died for; love and loneliness. It is hauntingly written, it plants itself perfectly in your mind.


‘Requiem for Innocence’ – Requiem for a Dream

This chapter is based on the film version of Requiem for a Dream, which follows the lives of drug addicts and the inevitable, yet frighteningly realistic, downward spiral that their addiction takes them on. After losing an arm from infected veins from injecting drugs, amputee Harry Goldfarb thinks everything should be fine; that his life would now hold promise. He finds out that while he was being treated for drug addiction, his mother was put into a mental institute, and his girlfriend, Marion, had only climbed even more downwards and had become what he had; a slave to the substance. I thought the dialogue between Marion and Harry was a little dramatised. Personally I would have pictured Marion to be more indifferent, nonchalant and careless after such abuse, and Harry wouldn’t have been so delusional in the fact that ‘it’s all nice in the end’. Also, I would have enjoyed this much more if the author had continued to use the signature Hubert Selby Jr. Brooklyn street slang, as used in the original, which I find defines the story.


‘In Those Midnight Dreams, Do You Dream of Me?’ – Constantine

This story was bang-on in terms of John Constantine’s traits. His wit, his dark sense of humour, and his pessimism are all expressed perfectly. I like how the writer has intertwined Constantine’s thoughts with the narration. It’s the first time I have read writing where the first and second persons are chopped up and switched so rapidly and I thought it was a very good effect. I wish it was longer. Constantine is my comic favourite and I would have loved to have kept reading. I also chose this particular fanfic because of the stream-of-consciousness narration, which is something I prefer to read over dialogue, it’s a lot more insightful.

‘Butterfly Dreams’ – Dracula

It is beautifully written, though it drags on too long, making the writing seem repetitive. It is an interesting concept, one which binds the story of Dracula together; it kind of allows you to get to know Jonathon deeper whilst he is locked away in Transylvania, which I think the movie/book doesn’t cover much of. The structure of this fanfic is strange but it works well with what the author is trying to do (get inside Jonathon’s eroding mind). Good use of rhetoric.

Fan Fiction Reviews

Death Note: Ryuk Returns

Overall, a good plot. I like the creativity and concept behind it even though I only read the first two chapters. However, personally, I didn't find the fact that Scout (main character) who had just found the Death Note would use it immediately to save her life, all that believeable. Although I can slightly understand as to why the author chose that particular path as it would be quite difficult to incorporate otherwise.

Death Note: Future Note

Loved it. Very compelling work. I actually wanted to read the entire fanfic even though it was written only up to the fifth chapter. I liked the fact that it was split up into different parts. For example, the relationships between Near & Matsuda, Inuyasha & Mysc, as well as the other Shinigami (Reapers). But, keeping the story intact and making each part connect in some way.

Hana Kimi: Repetitive History

Good relations between the title “Repetitive History” and the main topic of conversation Alexander the Great. Although I did feel some of the information given was unnecessary. Writing style was good, easy to read etc. But, even though it was a manga that I enjoyed, this fanfic wasn’t one of my favourites.

Inglourious Basterds: Falling Over You

Overall, this is an interesting twist to the original movie. The story revolves around Shosanna Dreyfus, a Jew who had escaped from the wrath of the Nazi’s. It centres around the time that Shosanna kills Frederick and Hitler and co. It does kind of leave the reader hanging, but in a good way. Leaves it pretty much open for interpretation. But because the fanfic is really short, there isn’t much new information (i.e. creativity) in my opinion.

Pan’s Labyrinth: Tides

I enjoyed this fanfiction a lot. It was a pairing type fanfic, which I was a bit hesitant prior to reading, but the story was tastefully done, very well written and finished perfectly.

Kill Bill: Kill Pai Mei

Really enjoyed this fan fic. It revolves around Elle Driver at the time she killed Kung-Fu Master Pai Mei by means of poison. Gives more insight into what she was thinking at that time. The details were great, it actually felt like it could have been part of the original story.

Secret Window: Not My Fault

Even though it was “a short take on Mort Rainey’s thoughts,” it did explain his character fairly well. Because it was written from Mort’s point of view, considering he is a psychopath who had killed his ex-wife and her husband (not to mention the few townspeople who got in the way), it was ‘jumpy’ and confusing, which I guess, he may have been feeling at the time. But, I’m not sure whether it was intentional, it kind of felt like the author just decided to write something, anything really. But overall, not a bad fan fic.

X-Men - The Movie: Pyro, Iceman and STD's

A nice, short and humurous story. unlike the movies and comics, it shows an ordinary day (or days) in the life of an X-Man (Pyro & Iceman). I personally think it was well written and thought it was very descriptive.

Pulp Fiction: Bring Out The Gimp

Wow. Just wow. And not in a good way. I don't know if this was badly written on purpose for effect but I could barely understand what was going on. There was absolutely no punctuation. Everything seemed to have been written for the sake of filling space. So many grammatical errors, not to mention spelling. Love Pulp Fiction the film, this, I don't.

Pulp Fiction: Don't Go There, Vince

Not a bad fanfic. I liked the writing style that was used. Spelling, punctuation, grammar was all well presented. The story was okay. I felt that nothing 'new' or 'creative' was introduced. Although, this is only the first chapter so it may continue to 'flourish.' But everything in this fanfic had been explained or shown already in the movie. Overall, I was quite disappointed at how few Pulp Fiction fanfics there were.

AHH! Finally done. These are my ten fan fiction reviews! :)

Feena's 10fanfic reviews

Batman


-This blog is about the proposal of batman to his fiance Barbara Gordan. Very good storyline and an interesting intervention between batmans love for his fiance aswell as batgirls mission of finding out batmans weakness. Although, it would have been better if there were more narrative parts so that the audience could get a more visual picture of batmans proposal.




Matrix - Survival


-Author uses rhetorical questions to capture audiences attention and to keep the audience guessing what's gonna happen next. I think the writer has a unique storyline and a very creative jist to the story.



Transformers- Not so Different



- Starts the storyline off with an autobiography typed narration which I think is unique.
A few correction errors but has a relevantly good storyline about the transforming robots.



Final Destination - The Fair



-One of my favourite series of movies. I love the storyline inwhich the writer creates. Quite a few spelling errors. I get a clear picture of what's going on in the story so very clear narrations and convo's going on in the story.



Paranormal Activity - Trouble with a Demon


- Love the humour put into this storyline. Ashame that the writer didn't create more action or thrill in the story. Very humourous, fun and creativce but I recommend the writer to have written more .



The Grudge - The new neighbour

- Very short, good points and storyline. Could work on the paragraphs to make them longer. Sounds like a real horror and thriller! :)

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5186757/1/The_Trouble_with_Kevin_A_Home_Alone_2_Fan_fic

- One of my favourite movies . I find it quite humorous where Kevin slips into the hotel or shall I say one of the finest hotels in New York without realizing the card Kevin used to get into the hotel was stolen. I particularly liked how Kevin always sends each of his family members on a jmission to find him. It’s almost like where’s wally?

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5745229/1/Your_Next - Scream

Firstly, the sentences that are immensely short would have been better if they were extended. Very clear detail of what’s happening in the story, yet too many short sentences that could have been made into long sentences. The writer could have made the story longer and perhaps come up with more action, drama or conflict to make the story more appealing to the audience. A few correction errors and punctuation that could’ve been cleared up. Besides these few things a very interesting story.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5746289/1/A_Not_So_Typical_Day_in_Zombieland - Zombieland

Started off well and sounded interesting but needs more storylines, a whole chapter atleast. Itching to find out what was going to happen next. A thrilling and intense start yet more could be written in this story.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4619689/1/End_of_All - The Neverending Story

One of my favourite movies as a child so was eager to read the fanfic of this story. More needed to be written to extend the story and capture the audience with what would’ve happened next. A creative and interesting start. Now needs a structured ending.

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